


the one with his heart in his hands

by etherealities



Series: a universe of love [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, cawllection, dumbasses in love, renmin being whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 01:59:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealities/pseuds/etherealities
Summary: renjun always shone the brightest when he was looking at jaemin, but it seemed like jaemin never saw him during those moments.





	the one with his heart in his hands

**Author's Note:**

> my first three readers said they cried and i swear that was not my intention. i'm so sorry.  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0sgMGaTvU581BmUJGMl5Y4?si=bceH5KyZTB2qwn8ppoUO-A | playlist

when na jaemin moved to seoul, renjun didn’t really think much of it. he noticed the boy in the halls, always quiet, usually with a book in hand. renjun always kept walking, still discussing his stars with chenle and jisung.  
when chenle first invited jaemin to sit with them, renjun still didn’t expect much. they became friends, slowly of course, but he never looked at him as more. he kept talking about his stars, and now it was chenle, jisung, and jaemin listening.

they grew close and grew up together. they discovered themselves; they discovered each other. jaemin told chenle that he sung like the moonchild he was, and renjun’s guitar glittered alongside the moon’s voice. the two of them performed together many times. jisung discovered his passion for dance, and renjun along with his moon and jaemin went to the sun’s first solo recital. jaemin eventually came to regard seoul as a second home, and the four of them made plans for their future together.  
and so renjun, his sun, his moon, and his newly shining stars went along. their first school dance approached, and they snuck out onto the school roof halfway through the second song. renjun showed them all the little dipper, and showed chenle his moon, the reflection of the boy with the and angel’s voice and a laugh better than the joke. he pointed out to jisung the galaxies farther than they’d ever travel, where there may be other beings, living, breathing like them. and to jaemin, he pointed out the north star, the one that would never move and could always show you the right direction. and in doing so, and renjun turned to see the fascination written all over jaemin’s face, he wondered suddenly how he’d never noticed the stars painted in jaemin’s eyes. and when jaemin reached over for renjun’s hand and told him that the stars looked even more beautiful just because the four of them were there, renjun realized he’d prefer if jaemin would never let go.  
so they stayed like that, in that moment, for what seemed like forever. and that night, when renjun fell into his own bed, he clutched to his chest the plush toy jaemin had won for him last year, and clutched even tighter in his memory the sight of his stars beside him, his moon and sun to his other side, and how in that moment, the universe had been theirs.

years passed. the four of them stayed friends.when renjun first moved into his apartment, chenle came with him, and they set up everything together. they painted the stars on his ceiling, the north star just above his pillows, and a fairy’s memorial of their pictures together on the wall beside his bed. he had all of them dated - from the day he first met chenle, to the day jisung first outshined everyone on a stage, to the day he first noticed the stars in jaemin’s eyes. he had them all.  
more time went by.  
jisung grew to be taller than any of them, which merited lots of kicks from renjun when he laughed and held something above their heads - literally. he won several competitions in dance, and renjun started seeing more fansites around his sun. he deserved it - their youngest star had grown well.  
chenle took up many different goals, creating a youtube channel and actually becoming quite successful with his angel’s voice. he wrote songs and taught kids on the side, always remaining content in his life. renjun never stopped admiring his smile and his laugh that was brighter than the moon.  
jaemin became at home in seoul. he dated around, learning the culture and people, falling in love and falling out of his reservations. he dated one boy for two years until the boy moved away and decided jaemin wouldn’t be worth the wait; renjun still remembers comforting jaemin at 3 am, assuring him that he’ll move on and that no matter what, renjun would be there with him, never changing.

and he would be.  
because as everyone around him grew up, renjun couldn’t seem to move. he remained the boy who believed in aliens and loved the cosmos. he still went to the roof and counted the constellations with his dog, still hummed in the shower, and always preferred his yellow sweater over any other piece of clothing, even after he had to buy another in a larger size so it’d still be loose.renjun couldn’t seem to move, because even as everyone around him grew up, he still found himself lost in the never-was and the never-could-be.  
he still found himself lost in na jaemin, wandering in the stars that that boy held in his eyes, in the universe hidden in his lips, in the galaxies contained in each of his hands.  
he was still lost in na jaemin, his best friend.

and so one day he left, leaving a simple note. chenle still had the keys to renjun’s apartment that he’d been given 2 years ago, and he was still in the habit of stopping by every friday. so renjun caught his flight on thursday night, his phone half charged and turned off, as it always was.  
so that friday, as chenle read his profession of the stars always hidden in jaemin’s eyes, renjun was in paris, greeting his brother again with warm, open arms. as jisung sighed and shook his head, wondering how two people could be so oblivious with each other for years on end, renjun smiled at a nickname he hadn’t heard aloud in years. as jaemin, his stars, re-read the confession of the universe hidden in his lips, renjun was unpacking, finally looking at the night sky from a new corner of the world. and as his stars avowed their feelings for the boy who carried his heart in his hands, renjun fell asleep under the moon, finally at peace.

after a month, chenle stopped by only every two weeks to add another picture to their fairy’s wall. the three of them grew almost closer than ever, adding two or three pictures every visit. halfway across the world, renjun kept a box of letters that he would someday deliver to his sun, moon, and stars.  
renjun mapped the stars in france as his starry universe pined after him, only once he was gone realizing just how strong his gravity had been. renjun never looked at the image of jaemin he’d brought - he already had it memorized. jaemin looked at his own pictures of renjun almost daily, wondering how he’d never seen him before. and through everything, renjun’s phone stayed at the bottom of his bag, half charged and turned off.

jisung joked about how renjun was probably still as small as ever, and chenle agreed, wearing the yellow sweater he’d purchased recently. the sun, moon, and stars created a map of their sky, laying it on their lost earth’s pillows, under his little dipper and the north star. and through it, the stars kept wondering where his universe had gotten lost to.another two months passed, and chenle came by for the first time in three weeks. this time, there was a package by the door, neatly filled to capacity with letters to the sun, moon, and stars.

the universe hadn’t forgotten them, not for a single moment.

the universe was now at peace, it’s rushed movement now soothed, now ready to face the future. it had accepted that the stars may want a different universe, a galaxy of a different kind. he knew.  
but na jaemin did want huang renjun. he always had - he just knew it now.  
so, when renjun arrived in seoul, another month’s worth of letters in his arms, he was greeted by warm, open arms, and his sun and moon. he laughed and kicked jisung for being even taller, and told chenle that while his hair-dyeing video had been a catastrophe, teal looked good on him.  
then his stars stepped forward. the silence was brief, yet was longer than any silence had ever been. and finally, the universe on jaemin’s lips met the galaxy on renjun’s.  
years passed like a blur after that. jaemin moved into renjun’s apartment, and jisung helped them create the full night sky on their ceiling. renjun’s brother stopped by and completed the sunrise on the bedroom door, and the sunset on the closet. he brought the smell of france and peace with him, and left with a promise that renjun would come again soon - this time, bringing his sun, moon, and universe.

after all, you can’t have a star without it’s universe.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sivhen)


End file.
